Amor

Porque con el pasar del tiempo comenzamos a ver mucho más que sonrisas. Las máscaras comienzan a caer y podemos ver realidades diferentes, verdaderas intenciones. Podemos ver que entre el blanco y el negro hay escala de grises. Una vez escuche la frase "Solo lastimamos a quienes de verdad amamos" y hoy entiendo que es verdad. Entiendo que el amor es mucho más que sonrisas, el amor es gritos y arañazos también. Es patalear, gritar y odiar. Es sentir un ardor en el pecho que nos haga llorar de felicidad con extrema facilidad como de rabia y dolor en un instante. Amor es mil sensaciones en una. Amor es mezcla de sentimientos. Amor es egoísmo y estupidez. Es equivocarse, pelear y enmendar. Yo no quiero pelear, es tan difícil de entender? Quiero enmendar y amar. Llorar de felicidad y no por rabia. Quiero ser feliz. Quiero que el amor sea la razón de mi sonrisa y no mis lágrimas. Quiero que caiga mi mascara también, que se noten mis verdaderas intenciones y que él decida quedarse igual.

Memories

Isn't funny how memories are? How from out of nowhere moments can be triggered by simple movements, odors, sounds or feelings? This came right onto my mind tonight once I sprayed his perfume onto my pillow cause I was desperately missing him and what amazes me is how this simple essence woke up a million moments that were trapped and hidden inside my mind. A kiss, a smile, a hug, a look, his hand holding mine, his hands traveling across my hair and his smile once I fell asleep. Simple things that meant so little back then mean so much right now. I remember walking by his side in the city of lights and smiling cause I thought I was dreaming, watching the sunrise and smiling cause he was there that Christmas morning, saying goodbye for the first time and crying cause I was so scared that would be our last kiss. All those times, all those moments. Now we are repeating them within time, polishing the memories and smiling harder as it goes. Cherishing the moment and enjoying as it comes. These are the memories that keep me going, these are the moments I hold on until we meet again. Without them what would we be? What would we have to hold onto? Nothing. Just empty letters with empty words of an emotion we are supposed to call love. Let me tell you what I'll do. I'll hold onto these moments until the next time we meet. In order, to create more memories and create an eternal loop of neverending trusting smiles and honest kisses without empty words but with actions, one that never ends. One that keeps me strong, until he comes back and takes me somewhere we can together finally call it home.